Reality Upgrade

There are a multitude of hangover “cures”, embedded in old wives’ tales and frat house legends, but which ones really work?

Today, Reality Upgrade turns to science to find out which ones actually do the job.

The list is depressingly short.

The simplest and most effective hangover cure is to simply not drink in the first place, but lets face it. That’s no fun.

Other than that, there are essentially only 3 real things that help with a hangover:

• Food
• Water
• Time

See, I told you it was depressingly short.

Food

Eating well before starting to drink is a surprisingly effective hangover prevention tool, but not for the reason that is given in the general hangover lore. Rather than a literal alcohol sponge, a full meal is a figurative one.

When you eat a full meal, your stomach will focus on slowing the progress of food and liquids through the stomach so that the digestive process can happen. This has the useful side effect of slowing the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream, because your intestines are busy absorbing other things as well.

Stretching out the absorption of alcohol over a longer period of time lets your body deal with the alcohol in smaller amounts over a longer period of time,  which in turn reduces the pain of your hangover. (See the bit on Time, below)

Water

Water is the magical elixir of life that keeps everything in your body running smoothly. Dehydration can cause headache, dry mouth, dizziness when standing, and and lethargy. Sound familiar anyone?

Alcohol is a diuretic, which means it encourages your kidneys to create more urine by suppressing your body’s levels of the antidiuretic hormone vasopressin, which in turn drains water out of your body more quickly than normal.

The best way to prevent dehydration is to drink plenty of water before, during, and after drinking alcohol. A good rule of thumb is to make sure you drink at least 1 tall glass of water for every shot, glass of wine, or cup of beer you drink. If you forget to drink water while you are out at the bar, at least remember to chug some before you hit the sack. This will keep you body hydrated, and fend off some of the worst effects of the hangover.

Time

As the liver breaks down alcohol, a whole bunch of nasty chemicals are created, all of which contribute to the hangover.

In the liver, ethanol is converted to acetaldehyde by the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, and then from acetaldehyde to acetic acid by the enzyme acetaldehyde dehydrogenase. Acetaldehyde (ethanal) is between 10 and 30 times more toxic than alcohol itself.

A bunch of other complicated chemical stuff happens as well, but one of the major effects of these chemicals is to prevent the liver from properly regulating the levels of glucose in the blood. Glucose is the major energy source for the brain, so a lack of glucose can cause symptoms such as fatigue, weakness, mood disturbances, and decreased attention and concentration. Again, does  any of that sound familiar?

Because you just dumped a whole bunch of nasty into your bloodstream all at once, getting rid of it all causes your liver to run out of  glutathione and other detoxification agents. Your liver will produce more of these cleaning agents, but it takes…well, time. Until your liver can produce more, your body has to deal with a bunch of poisons floating around in your bloodstream, and the only thing you can do is wait.

Other Somewhat Useful Tips

Headache Medicine

One other thing that helps, but is not really a cure, is ibuprofen. It does not really fix anything, but it is the least damaging of the the three major over the counter headache medicines. Aspirin and acetaminophen work as well, but tend to irritate the lining of the stomach. In normal situations, this is not a big deal, but if your stomach just had to deal with a bunch of alcohol, anything else that irritate it is probably a bad idea.

Incidentally, if you don’t have any ibuprofen available, go with acetaminophen. It is slightly less rough on your stomach than aspirin.

Drink Clear Liquor

There are several things that can exaggerate the symptoms of alcohol, including other types of alcohols and congeners. Both of these can be side products of some types of fermentation, and some are also added to sweet liquors to enhance their flavor.

A 2009 study provided evidence that darker-coloured liquors, such as bourbon, cause worse hangovers than lighter-coloured liquors, such as vodka. The higher amount of congeners found in darker liquors compared to lighter ones was indicated as the cause.

So avoid the darker liquors, and stick with silver tequila for a somewhat smaller head in the morning.

What Not To Do

There are tons of hangover cures that don’t really help at all, and for a fun list and the debunking of most of them check out this fun article by Lifehacker.

Also for a more detailed look at the science behind the hangover, check out this article on hangovers on my favorite website ever, Wikipedia.